|
| 3.02.2006 :: 05:18 | Spoken (6) | Seen don't wanna be a playa no more... Yes, yes ya'll... I'm a playa. I don't know what the hell happened, but all of a sudden I'm so fuckin' appealing to all them guys that I don't even know what to think of it any more. Miguel is out of question, because 1) we're friends, and 2) he'll be moving to FL soon :( which is bad, cuz I'm gon miss him a lot cuz we homies now.. he's my baby boy, I'm his baby girl. Anyhow, then there's Manny, whom I have no fuckin' clue what he's up to. I'll try to get him to come to one of our Underground 'parties' and we'll see. And now there's one more person in the picture, Dav's friend, Z. I have no clue what Z stands for, but hey - it's not like we're gon get married or something. Then there's Dan at work, who seems to just be like that around girls - flirtatious mothfucker. He's hilarious, I like working with him, and how we joke around w/ each other. He's a lot of fun, but friends is all that we can be. And I hope we will, cuz he's really fun to be around. Then there's of course problems, the ones unsolved obviously. I hate when things drag for months, and as time goes by it doesn't seem to get better or anything. I very truly, sincerely hope that things will work out cuz these are two people that I love a lot, and them two not being together would be both weird and painful to me. How come couples that seem to be heaven-made go through bs problems like that? Fuckin' crisis I tell you. I really need to stop fuckin' around and thinkin' about bs, cuz today I almost lost my integrity. It's mainly because of my 'know it all' attitude, which can take me down easily one of these days. What happened today was that, this morning after I woke up and strutted around our apartment a bit, I decided to make myself a cup of coffe. I looked over at my calendar, and what did I see? It was still February on it, so I decided to turn the page. Good idea, too bad I did that too late. So anyhow, I turned the page, looked at what's in store for me this month, and what did my pretty green eyes see? I had a fuckin' assignment due, for my first class w/ that neurotic-stuttering bitch. And I had less than an hour to do it, fuck it, I still needed to get dressed, do my make-up n shit. Can you fuckin' believe that I came up w/ a 2page paper on The Communist Manifesto within like 15-20minutes!? I couldn't fuckin believe it, I even had some time left to do my make-up (or something that looked like my make-up). It's either going to be an F or an A, and I pray that it's gon be the latter cuz I really don't feel like dealing with that shit right now, or later. Next week I have a Much Ado About Nohing performance coming up, and guess what? My retard boyfriend is the fuckin director. Shit, he signed up after I did. That's fuckin' stalking, I swear to God. He fuckin' says shit to me, I'ma smack the living hell out of that fucker. He'a fuckin retard, I mean he's stupid-smart, and resembles a fuckin', I don't know.. a fuckin' goblin? I dunno remember that nasty thing that followed the guy w/ the ring in LOTR? The nasty hunched-naked guy w/ a split personality. Well he's equally disgusting. Fuck. Anyhow I try not to think about it, and focus on school work - so that this morning's situation never happens again - that would be just fucked up. Oh and I officially have my very own Chanel boyfriend; Chanel because I got a (fake?)Chanel bag for VDay from him. Belated, however from the heart. He calls me 'boo' and he's really funny. He also thinks that I'm a playa, but not a gold digger. Oh, and he has the most adorable daughter too. But I'll talk abt it some other time. //robbie williams - advertising space :: intensive care //the roots - stay cool :: the tipping point | 3.04.2006 :: 17:50 | Spoken (13) | Seen how u doin' honey babe? I'm a fuckin alcoholic. For real. Another night of out of control drinkin, ended w/ me actin' a fool. I basically humiliated myself. Shit, why do I do this to myself? Stupid, stupid, still haven't learned my lesson. Hopefully it's not gonna take an Imette St. Guillen's situation, cuz the it's gonna be way too late. And besides, whoever that sick fuck was that killed that poor girl deserves to die, slowly, and painfully. And btw... Manny, Manny why aren't u callin? //beyonce - work it out | 3.07.2006 :: 05:28 | Spoken (6) | Seen my get-right when it's wrong... Ok, so just to clarify, when I wanted Manny to call it wasn't to call me. So not such a big deal [I'm such a liar, right now, LOL]. It's just that I don't want to be as vulnerable as I was back in '03. I just can't have that, I don't want it to happen to me again. Anyhow, just because I don't want one thing, I'm not gonna want the other. It really don't help, cuz I still think that he's a cutie. Seems to me that if I wanna get w/ him i'll hav2 make the first step. I'm gon hav2 think abt it first. I'm tired and don't really feel like being around people this week. //ne-yo - let me get this right :: in my own words | 3.08.2006 :: 03:24 | Spoken (9) | Seen madman situation So it has come to this, that I don't wanna be here anymore. I mean I really feel that I need to change my environment. Everything's just pissing me off round here. Isn't it funny how after you hear something repeatedly, slowly you like it, believe in it? This week is just buggin' me out, and I don't even know why. It's like I'm expecting something either great or disastrous to happen. I don't know. I'm not being myself lately, really. //jamelia - antidote :: thank you //ne-yo - so sick :: in my own words | 3.12.2006 :: 00:39 | Spoken (5) | Seen you're hot, but you already know that Friday night was one of those satisfying, yet disappointing nights. Among other things I found out that you can't really count on Dominicans. Manny called, but to be honest he might've not done tht cuz it didn't change a damn thing. I love bar-lounges because you get to dance as if at a club, but w/o the excessive noise, so you can actually have normal conversations. Some people found out that I actually look pretty decent when dressed up. As a matter of fact I got a lot of them you're hot or you look great from guys and girls. It's always good to have a pair of lucky something. Like I have my lucky black Kenneth Cole pumps. They are drunk-proof, so whenever I wear them I behave and getting shit-faced is out of question. So right now I'm disappointed because last night two things went wrong: 1) Mr. Man didn't show up, and 2) my fishnets landed in the garbage, don't ask why. Oh and I got engaged w/ a brazilian gay guy. However, as I've thought abt it sober-headed, I decided that it's not a good idea, so I broke it off. //jamelia :: thank you //ne-yo :: in my own words | 3.15.2006 :: 03:10 | Spoken (3) | Seen the must-have for 2006? Avian flu vaccine - it's so new that it doesn't exist yet. Seems that a whole lot of people in Asia are gonna hav2 die before they'll come up with somethig that's gon actually work. Cuz let's not fool each other, whatever they claim tht they've got now is a bunch of bullshit. By the time they'll develop something that's gon work avian flu is gon already mutate a couple of times, so why even bother? Anyhow, beyond my profound thoughts about h5n1, I've been up to no good. Cussin' ppl out, smokin' a lot of cigarettes, and contemplating the stupidity of some people that I know, more or less. I've been also listening to a lot of Ne-Yo, ordering a shit-load of unnecessary things from the internet, and therefore charging my credit card (fuck!). On top of that shit, we finally have spring. Yea! And tomorrow's my spanish102 midterm, and my mind is blank. //christina millian ft. young jeezy - say i //rihanna - s.o.s. | 3.17.2006 :: 06:41 | Spoken (2) | Seen nowadays ppl hear some good shit but don't stop to savor it... And that's exactly the way it is w/ everything. Fuck that shit. And that bitch spring is playin' games w/ us, cuz supposedly on friday it's supposed to snow - what the fuck? I say to this - what the fuck? Anyhow, my spanish exam went surprisingly better than I'd expected - prolly cuz I studied for the first time, like I really studied. Aside from that I'm in pretty pathetic if not bitchy mood. There's always some shit goin on that's gonna piss me off. But hey, that's just life, right? //little brother :: the listening //little brother :: the minstrel show | 3.20.2006 :: 03:33 | Spoken (3) | Seen this world is forcing me to hold your hand... Yes. So that sorry-ass-nigga Manny's been avoiding us. Sending other ppl to get his shit. Like we're not gon recognize what's for whom. I'd love to run into him, just to see his sorry-ass face. Omg, men are so fuckin stupid; some of them are so stupid that it's actually offending my intelligence, seriously. I mean how hard is it to show up n say I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it? At least Miguel had enough guts to tell me that he didn't come, or even call cuz he was tired and knew that if he'd called me I'd convince him to come. God please keep them assholes away from me. Or maybe I'm simply too fuckin' smart for them? tbc... //no doubt - just a girl :: tragic kingdom | 3.21.2006 :: 06:04 | Spoken (2) | Seen I got 'em hatin' cuz I don't sugarcoat a damn thing... The bitch makes me sick to my stomach. For real. All of a sudden I got niggas wearin' grillz hollerin' at me. They remind me of Flava-Flav! Yea Boi! Anyways, there's whole lotta wack people around me, and I just wanna knock them out, just like mama said. It's misery, I hate to see history repeating. //little brother - not enough :: the minstrel show | 3.24.2006 :: 06:19 | Spoken (4) | Seen it ain't all good... and that's the truth, things ain't going like you think they should. it's all on you. cause the bitch be keepin' on schemin'. //de la soul ft. chaka khan - all good? :: timeless: the singles collection | 3.28.2006 :: 05:36 | Spoken (3) | Seen I scream, you shout... I wanna hurt you, like you're hurting me. No words can express what I feel toward someone, right now, and lately most of the time. No words can explain what that person is doing, or why. My mind is constantly racing, trying to figure out actions of a certain somebody, who seems not to even give a shit about me. What the fuck is wrong with me then, what? I swear to god that I try not to care, close my eyes and pretend not to see or hear things. It haunts my dreams at night, and bothers me during the day. //sugababes - bruised | 3.29.2006 :: 05:26 | Spoken (4) | Seen I wish that you could be a little bit more upfront... No, we don't talk no more. Whatever happened to the precious silence of late nights in front of a computer? Those nights are gone; replaced by constant suspicion and questioning of everything that happened during the day, during those past weeks, months, even years. It has gotten to the point of an obsession, really. Careful examination of what has happened. There's way too many emotions storming through my heart to fully express what I want to say. And no, it's not about a boy. I got 'em on hold for a while - until I figure out my family issues. //ne-yo - let go //de la soul ft. chaka khan - all good? | 3.31.2006 :: 06:10 | Spoken (4) | Seen life's not how it used to be... bitter last blows I know it ain't right, but I don't think that I can ever trust her again. Cuz see I'm not a fool, I didn't need to sit up all night to figure it all out. Anyhow, seemingly everything's resolved now. Aside from their fighting/talking I needed my very own therapy, so I went out and bought some chocolate, and a cute pair of shoes. Honestly, my credit card is my best friend. //little brother - not enough :: the minstrel show //christina millian ft. young jeezy - say I |
||
